We’ve seen our fair share of awkward dates at our restaurants, so we’ve got a few words of advice for those in Hanoi who Tinder…
We’re burger experts, not relationship counsellors. But if there’s one piece of advice that we can give you confidently, it’s this: couples that get messy at Chops together, stay together.
We’ve seen a greater return from couples who have truffle mayo running down their faces than we have from the shy nibblers.
So while “bring your date to Chops” is definitely the first and by-far-the best tip we’ve got for your badass Tinder sesh, we’re sorry if the rest of our advice leaves you single and lonely…
1. Pick a winner
Choosing the location is key to getting the date off to a decent start. It needs to have the right kind of vibe. And while nothing brings people together quite like complaining, the food and drink needs to be spot on too; it is representative of your tastes, after all. Consider it personal branding.
Tip: Rarely is a person wooed by tofu in tomato sauce and countless Hanoi Beers. Try gourmet burgers and craft beer?
2. Do it in downtime
Head out to a decent restaurant on a Friday night and all you’ll be rubbing shoulders with your previous dates. Make a booking for a Monday or Tuesday dinner for a decreased chance of awkward run-ins.
Tip: Book a table at Chops, tell us it’s a Tinder date, and we’ll sort you the best seat in the house
3. Mix it up
When you find the perfect location, don’t swing back there every time you’ve got a new date lined up. While we love to see your pretty faces all dolled up for a good night out, we don’t need to see your relentless rotation in real time. It makes us feel like we know too much.
Tip: Lucky for you, we do have three restaurants across the city you can switch between – West Lake, Old Quarter and Ngoc Khanh
4. Be nice?
Forget what people say about there being plenty of fish in the sea. Hanoi is a small place. Consider the sea of Hanoi to be more like a puddle, with a lot of already paired up fish in it. If you’ve been around the block, you’ll start to see the same old faces, and word gets around if you’re not great to hang out with.
Tip: Be nice. We shouldn’t have to remind you of this, but it is 2019
5. Stop swiping!
You’re on a date – isn’t that enough dopamine? We still see far too many people on dates scrolling through their phones. Poor form, guys.
Tip: By all means, keep your phone within arm’s reach for those all-important Instagram food shots. Yes, that’s how seriously you should take our dating advice
6. Don’t do “me, me, me”
Keep it light, honest and be yourself. But don’t just talk hot air air about yourself.
Tip: Your tinder dates won’t care what you made of Chops’ recent Trump and Kim burgers or which craft beer you like to pair with your wagyu beef patties. Get over yourself!
7. Don’t get sloshed
Maybe you got a bit boozy beforehand to settle the nerves. Maybe you’ve decided to pound the 9.0% 7 Bridges Imperial IPA as the date goes on. Either way, it’s not going to end well on a first date if you get hammered.
Tip: Don’t want craft beer? Try a Chops badass milkshakes instead
8. Don’t be a try hard
Nobody likes a show off. Or a try hard. For all of you foreigners out there who attended a couple of Vietnamese lessons and want to impress your dates by showing off your loose understanding of Vietnamese: our staff speak pretty good English.
Tip: Avoid our Juicy Lucy challenge on the first date – probably not a great look
9. Bonus tip: use and abuse Chops the next morning
“Don’t forget the morning after, when you’re regretting your life choices because you slept with a backpacker and you swore last time was the last time, but at least Chops is around the corner in the OQ to ease the pain with a brekkie burger to soothe the hangover and walk of shame,” says a Chops fan on Facebook.
We couldn’t have put it better ourselves.